From the Vaults: REAL TIME RECORD REVIEWS (July 21, 2006)
So this is what I’m going to do. I’m going to review an album that I have never heard before, by an artist I have never heard before, whose style of music is completely unknown to me…and I’m going to do it in real time. That is, I’m going to listen to the album for the first time ever and briefly describe what it is I’m hearing as I am hearing it. Pretty novel, huh? Let’s do this:Album: The Drift (2006)Artist: Scott WalkerBackground: Scott Walker is a guy I have heard good things about. I don’t know what he plays, but I do know that he is old and hasn’t released an album in about ten years or something. I picked up the album online for cheap.Date: July 21, 2006Time: 9:15amTrack 1: “Cossacks Are” 4:31Ooh, this is some scary ass stuff. There’s this high pitched squeal in the background and a pretty cool Good, Bad and the Ugly style guitar part. Then BOOM the drums drop in with a propulsive beat that kind of rocks.Then Scott starts singing. It’s a little jolting. He has a really funny voice. Sounds like he drank a lot of chocolate milk or something. No, he sounds like if David Byrne bit his own tongue. Or if Ian Curtis drank too much chocolate milk. And he definitely sounds like an old guy. His voice is actually easier to listen to as the song goes on. Although I did start to laugh when he said “That’s a swanky suit.”Track 2: “Clara” 12:43Ok, his voice is jolting again. He’s singing relatively unaccompanied now…oh, now the music is coming real heavy. Jeez, I’d never be able to fall asleep to this, I’d get nightmares. The music comes in really heavy and droney, but then goes back to being slightly softer and orchestral, but still very droney.The song is about the execution of Benito Mussolini and his wife/girlfriend/friend who happens to be a girl. There’s actually a female singer playing the part of the girl. Her voice is nice - certainly not as unsettling as Scott Walker’s.I’m kind of figuring this album out, it’s essentially a very weird, very avant garde opera. Strange noises and sound effects appear out of nowhere, and then the whole song ends with a little spoken word ditty.The lyrics seem to just describe some sort of narrative. It’s all “His eyes look like this” and “the ceiling is this color” and “Her breasts are like this” and “His lip is like that.” I can’t tell if these lyrics are really exceptionally good or exceptionally bad. But I can tell you that I am piss-my-pants scared while listening to this album. It’s creepy as hell.Scott Walker sounds like Andy Partridge (XTC) if he were a zombie.Track 3: “Jesse” 6:28So this song is apparently about Elvis’ dead twin brother, Jesse. No joke. I watched that movie Coffee and Cigarettes the other night. The movie’s about half good. There’s this really funny scene where Steve Buscemi plays a waiter at a dive restaurant in Nashville. He keeps talking about Elvis’ stillborn twin brother and saying how they kept him alive and that all the negative things about Elvis’ career (getting fat, wearing sequined jumpsuits, doing drugs, stealing music from less popular black artists) could be attributed to Elvis’ twin who had taken his spot. That movie also had a really funny scene with Bill Murray, GZA and RZA. It also had a really awkward and poorly performed scene with Tom Waits and Iggy Pop.This album (and this song) is scarier than any metal album I’ve ever heard. It’s very unsettling. But also pretty captivating.Song 4: “Jolson and Jones” 7:45Donkey noises! DONKEY NOISES AS A PART OF THE ACTUAL MUSIC!!! Awesomeness! I have no idea what “Curare” means, but the donkey stuff was great.Still, though, very scary.Song 5: “Cue” 10:27Another petrifying song I wouldn’t dare fall asleep to. A lot of these songs have the same format. Quiet and creepy with Walker’s unsettling voice quivering and wavering and then BLAARRGGHH noise and chaos and BLAAARRGGHH Scott Walker is scaring the piss out of me. Then it’s quiet again, but this time there’s this really creepy knocking noise and it makes not want to listen to the album in bed.This is starting to be really fun.Song 6: “Hand Me Ups” 5:49Hey, Scott Walker’s a bit of a noise rocker. I’m especially digging the bass sax and the guy wailing in the background. Very cool.I was really digging this one, but Walker, who’s very old apparently, just said “pee pee soaked trousers.” That kind of pulled me out of my enjoyment. And now it’s just him singing “pee pee soaked trousers” all alone with a slight drone and someone clapping in the background.But then BLAARRGGHH. Bass sax farts. BLAARRGGHH. Pee pee soaked BLAARGGHH.Ok, I like it.Song 7: “Buzzers” 6:39This album has a lot of found sound kind of stuff and I’m actually pretty down with it, although that flipping through the channels on the radio sound effect is pretty cliched. Still though, it works for me. This one experiences a cinematic build at around the four-minute mark that adds a little drama to it, but other than that it keeps things relatively tame. This one doesn’t scare me as much as the rest, but maybe it’s just that false sense of security like in slasher flicks when people think they’re about to be attacked, but it’s just the cat.Song 8: “Psoriatic” 5:51Ooh, storm sound effects. Cool. And spooky. And GAH, Walker’s voice comes out of nowhere. And he’s singing gibberish. It’s scary as all hell, but I’m really stoked on this song. This is one of those albums that is so reserved and atmospheric and creepy that when something like a drum or a guitar kicks in, no matter how spare, it feels like a really traditional rock song.I think that the next time I try listening to this I’m going to try singing along. That’ll be fun.Song 9: “The Escape” 5:18Boy, the second half of this album has really lightened on the frightening noise…oh, spoke to soon. I am not joking when I say that Donald Duck sings this song. Somebody is using the Donald Duck voice in this song and it’s horrifying.Ok, so in all honesty, there are not too many places that could be appropriate to listen to this album. It doesn’t lull, it isn’t catchy, it doesn’t really rock, it’s ridiculously disturbing, the lyrics read like schizophrenic poetry, most people won’t like it. But it’s still pretty good. I think it’s one of those “two listens a year” type albums. Like Godspeed! You Black Emperor or something.Song 10: “A Lover Loves” 3:13A little acoustic ditty with Walker repeatedly going “psst psst.” It’s really just more of the same weirdness, but with less instruments and no found sound. A nice finisher to probably the most insane album I’ve heard in years.In Conclusion: This one gets nine bananas out of four apples. It’s definitely not for everybody and probably not for most. Certainly not an album for the faint of heart. If you consider yourself a fan of challenging bands and don’t mind a little discomfort, then by all means give this a shot, it’s actually pretty good. There are just a lot of hurdles you have to get over first.